¬°•| غَيثُ مِن الَعطاء ُ|•°¬
- 22 أكتوبر 2011
- إنْ وابلاً، فَطَلْ
By Nizar Al Musalmy — One of the reasons that make me believe that women are stronger than men is how forbearing they can be. A woman can undergo financial, emotional, physical and social violence and all at the same time but still maintain a smile on her face. I challenge any man on this one. Well, I can’t speak for all men but if it happens to the father of junior, just for once, he would be a dead man. But strong or not, one would wonder how a woman can suffer at the same hands that once hugged her in the name of love. I mean how can things change so much that a man can raise his hand against the mother of his children?
While some women survive to recount their ordeal, others fail to endure at the hands of their brutal lovers. Some women suffer silently in shame, or prefer to protect the dignity of their husbands, marriage and children. Violence against women results from an imbalance of power between a man and a woman. Some men are not aware of the abuses or violence they do and think it is just normal. The father of junior has done a small research and has now arranged an awareness session for you.
Economic violence is when you harm a woman’s financial capability by stopping her from making decisions that will enhance her finances or where the husband stops the wife from working or does not give her money. Sexual violence is when you limit a woman’s power over her gender and her reproductive health. It includes making love against her will. Emotional violence can be psychological or verbal and makes the woman feel insecure. Physical violence is where one’s body is injured such as hitting, kicking or burning. Social abuse is done when constant criticism of the partner or stopping her from meeting friends and relatives. Women suffer all these in silence, sometimes hiding their injuries because of shame or dishonour.
I think real men, as the alpha character and primary offenders, should take the leading role in stopping or minimising abuse, regardless of whether they are the victims or offenders. Beating her does not make you a man! Finding the possible cause of friction and trying to fix it is the best way to avoid violence. It is also very important to think before saying anything out of anger or suspicion. Boys should not hit girls — a man should never hit a woman under any circumstances. Although contrary to the popular belief, women are often times at fault by provoking the man.
If there is a disagreement, one of the partners should volunteer to end it by keeping quiet. Or they should agree to disagree. If things persists and potentially lead to tragic point of disagreement, going for counselling can be one step towards ending the saga. Appointing a representative from his family and a representative from her family or the other way is seeking a mediator who would be impartial in the disagreement to help you resolve the deadlock. As human beings, we should treat each other the same way we want to be treated. We should all learn how to manage our anger and cope with negative emotions. They say you have got to treat her like a lady. Take her out, be polite, dine with her and pay the bill. Your good relationship with her is an investment. Go for it for favourable future returns.